Set a boundary with in-laws or extended family kindly and clearly — the words to say, a united-front approach with your partner, and a plan for the pushback. Use when asked how to set a boundary with my in-laws, my mother-in-law keeps [X], deal with overbearing family, or what to say to my partner's family. Produces a read on the actual issue, a warm-but-firm script for the specific situation, a partner-alignment plan (the couple presents together), how to hold the line when they push back, and de-escalation so it protects the relationships rather than blowing them up.
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Use in-law-boundary-scripts to create a warm, firm boundary script, partner-alignment plan, and pushback responses for [issue and frequency], considering [whose family and relationship dynamic] and [partner alignment and goal].
Required inputs
[issue and frequency]
[whose family and relationship dynamic]
[partner alignment and goal]
User-approved starter prompt based on a pinned source version; check current skill requirements before running. Task evidence ↗
SKILL.md
name: in-law-boundary-scriptsdescription: "Set a boundary with in-laws or extended family kindly and clearly — the words to say, a united-front approach with your partner, and a plan for the pushback. Use when asked how to set a boundary with my in-laws, my mother-in-law keeps [X], deal with overbearing family, or what to say to my partner's family. Produces a read on the actual issue, a warm-but-firm script for the specific situation, a partner-alignment plan (the couple presents together), how to hold the line when they push back, and de-escalation so it protects the relationships rather than blowing them up."
In-Law Boundary Scripts
Boundaries with extended family are hard because you want to protect your peace and the relationships. The trick is to be warm and clear at once, and — crucially — for the couple to be united, with each partner leading with their own family. This gives you the actual words for the situation, a plan to align with your partner first, and a way to hold the line when the guilt-trips come.
What This Skill Produces
The real-issue read — what's actually bothering you (unannounced visits, unsolicited advice, overstepping on the kids, comments) and what you need to change
A warm-but-firm script — the specific words: appreciation + the boundary + the ask, without apology or attack
A partner-alignment plan — agreeing the boundary together first, and who delivers it (ideally each to their own family)
Holding the line — responses to the pushback, guilt-trips, and "we've always done it this way"
De-escalation — keeping it about the behavior and the future, so it protects the relationship rather than declaring war
Required Inputs
Ask for these if not provided:
The issue — the specific behavior and how often
Whose family — your in-laws or your own (affects who should lead)
The dynamic — generally warm, tense, or already conflict-ridden
Where you and your partner stand — are you aligned, or is your partner conflict-avoidant
Your goal — change the behavior while keeping the relationship, or a firmer line
Framework: United, Warm, Firm, Steady
Name what you actually need. Get specific about the behavior and the change — vague frustration produces vague, ignorable boundaries.
Align as a couple first. Agree the boundary together before raising it; a divided couple invites triangulation. Ideally each partner leads with their own parents.
Warm + firm, no apology. Lead with genuine appreciation, state the boundary clearly, make a concrete ask — without over-apologizing (which invites negotiation) or attacking.
Expect and hold through pushback. Guilt, hurt, and "you're overreacting" are common; a calm broken-record restatement holds the line without a fight.
Keep it about behavior and forward. Focus on the specific behavior and what you'd like going forward, not a character indictment — this protects the long-term relationship.